We were on our stomachs, behind bushes
Elbows sinking into the soil
Faces inches away,
craving the smell of wet earth
There was a loud silence
Not an empty one, though
Images flitted by in my head
I was thinking of the future;
It was going to be without you
I focused on cleaning one nail with the other, as I talked
The words we said felt half-empty;
I fought to cling to the present
The next day was a cliff,
and we were racing towards it
A fog of scenes, even those that hadn't happened yet,
flitted through my mind relentlessly
I wasn't sure whether to focus on that or to
memorize every second of the present,
to replay it later
I could go back now and try to see us again
I could focus on your voice this time instead of the voices in my head
If saying goodbye is still difficult this time around,
I'd know I was wrong to choose a clean break.